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Sadly, I am going to bed for now. It's been a long day at work, and I need rest. One thing I want to note. The more tired I am, the more likely I am to see Candlemass. I saw him just tonight, standing far away from me in a field. I could tell it was him because of the yellow cloak.



02-22-12: The last time I conclusively saw Candlemass was one night when I had just turned sixteen. Once again, this memory (if it is a memory) is a little fuzzy, since I was half asleep.

I could feel a man's hand, rough, large, and calloused, smooth the hair away from my forehead. A second later, someone pressed a kiss to the side of my forehead, right above my eyebrow.

I almost think I remember him whispering to me, that he had to go back to his duties, but he'd always be here for me, and if I ever needed him, to call his name.

The next day, no Candlemass. It was pretty heartbreaking to lose what had become my only friend, and I've never really gotten over the loss.

The only thing that makes it better is that I still see him around occasionally sometimes, like the other day.

Other than that very last night, my other Candlemass encounters range to the pretty much nearly mundane. Hanging out with him telling me stories. Eating together, etc.

Maybe I should try calling his name, and seeing if he comes.

6:09: So here's what's happened. After the sun set, I tried calling out for Candlemass. I figured maybe it would have been better to wait until it was time for bed, because that's when he appeared to me for the first time. But, just out of curiosity, and nervousness, I jumped the gun.

I just sort of started to talk out loud. I felt a little silly (I am at home with my parents right now) and I was worried someone might hear me. But I just sort of kept up. It went something like,

"Candlemass? Are you still here? I remember you saying you would come when I needed you, so I'm asking you now. I mean, I don't really need you, but I miss you." And so on. I just sort of talked about how my life has been, and what's been happening, and the sorts of things I remembered us doing.

And, as I was talking, I sensed movement out of the corner of my eye, so I shut up immediately (I think at the moment I thought it was one of my folks) and turned around to see who the intruder was.

And it really was Candlemass, leaning against the desk like he always used to, looking at me as if he were about to start laughing or crying.

He was wearing his yellow cloak, like he always did, but he had thrown his hood back, so his hair stood out from his head, and he was staring at me with what looked like a mix of astonishment and wonder.

He didn't say anything at first, he just sort of walked forward and hugged me, and told me he'd missed me. Said he was worried about me, too, since I'd apparently forgotten everything he'd taught me, which was why I've been seeing him around recently.

Okay, so I did cry, I'm not going to lie about that. But he looked like he was going to cry, too, because his eyes were watery, but he wiped my face with his thumbs, like he always used to when I was upset, and his hands felt exactly the same.

He chastised me a little bit for living so unsafely, and attracting attention to myself the way I've been doing. "You're going to get eaten alive, Chickadee." He told me, to my surprise- I'd completely forgotten the nickname he'd given me. He started calling me that nearly the first night I saw him when I was twelve.

Of course, I had about a million questions to ask him. Why had he gone, where had he gone, what had he done while there. Why had he waited so long to see me.

Mostly, I was just so happy to see my old friend again.